So I did it again. Shot myself in the foot.  I hoped at 54 I would have learned by now that nothing is ever the way it seems. A person believes and feels one way thinking that the other person is close to the same feelings. WRONG Fing' WRONG.  Words were said today that can never be erased. Things went south in a bad way quicker than a jet landing.  I am thankful this is a private blog, what I'm saying is pretty private okay? I really am angry with my heart right now, the jerky muscle won't let my brain do the thinking.  Being with someone younger  means dealing with petty immature behaviors.  And then I jumped right in to that pig pen and got dirty, too. I think I need to be more uplifting in my words, actions, and self reflection.  Instead of slamming myself for opening the door to caring about someone whether they care or not shows my growth as a human being. I have to remember that what you give is it. Thats it. A person can only be responsible for themself. If the feelings aren't reciprocal,  then time to pack it up emotionally  and back off. Life is hard! Good thing happy days preceeded this, and there will be more happy days ahead.