I don't understand people. I don't understand how things can go so very badly in just one swift move. Depression sucks. Mania sucks. Oh wait, maybe its just that my life does, or I do, or all of this has been a really long testing nightmare of how life isn't supposed to be,

uhoh. It is life. my life. and the only one who can lay claim to the yuck is me. I create it. I bring it.

I'm so done. just done. over it. finished with it. the baloney needs to stop. I need to stop. I need to be back on track. what the heck is that? Back on track? What track? Who am I ?

Too hard to think. too hard to care. I just give up.